Gimme my sex toys back!

All week long I've been anxiously awaiting for my newest of order of sex toys. It had a confirmed delivery date of today- yippie- can't wait to get my hands on these! I get down to the post office- it isn't there. Come to find out if UPS isn't notified by the shipper to re-route to USPS, they will ship to your physical address UPS has on file. Side note to any of you pervs shipping  to po boxes: UPS doesn't always have your current physical address in their database. So I go over to my old house, the current tenant has my box and its been resealed. After a long awkward conversation with him where neither one of us mentioned the box, or its contents, I come home to a previously opened box of:

His eye taint is all over these.